Memories From Ryan Stone’s Basement
  • listening to the Beastie Boys’ License to Ill, my introduction to rap
  • being jealous that Lori Holcer was talking to someone other than me, in the second grade
  • seeing Vanna White naked in Penthouse¹
  • watching him light hair spray on fire and later wondering if he was responsible when that house burnt down a few years later²
  • motherfuckin’ Speak ‘n’ Spell
  • junior high orgies³

¹ Technically, this occurred in his garage but how could I leave it out?

² I’m pretty sure he wasn’t.

³ Okay, I made this one up.